Mom and I were working through some difficulties when she became sick. Among other things, I was angry that she had not provided affirmations I needed and she was often certain that I wished I had had someone else for a mother. The process of death sped up our reconciliation in an obvious way. But the not so obvious way we found healing was in this:
When mom passed and I was able to envision her with Christ the Healer, who makes us whole, I was able to see the ungraciousness of my attitude towards her and ask for forgiveness for the bitterness I had held. I was also able to forgive her and recieve the purity of the love she had for me as my mom, it being made perfect in Jesus, and the crooked ways of it made straight.
Longing to embrace her and realize our newness together in Christ I grieved deeply. Sometimes I still cry like a very young girl who wants her momma. But in my loss (and in God's healing) I have come to better understand the unique relationship between mother's and daughters and the privilege it is serve Jesus by holding the children in the world who are motherless.
My prayers for the children in Russia are not that I will be able in some way to fulfill their need for a mother, but that as I provide for physical and emotional needs they will find themselves created and loved by God and able to know Him- because knowing Him is how I am made whole.
When mom passed and I was able to envision her with Christ the Healer, who makes us whole, I was able to see the ungraciousness of my attitude towards her and ask for forgiveness for the bitterness I had held. I was also able to forgive her and recieve the purity of the love she had for me as my mom, it being made perfect in Jesus, and the crooked ways of it made straight.
Longing to embrace her and realize our newness together in Christ I grieved deeply. Sometimes I still cry like a very young girl who wants her momma. But in my loss (and in God's healing) I have come to better understand the unique relationship between mother's and daughters and the privilege it is serve Jesus by holding the children in the world who are motherless.
My prayers for the children in Russia are not that I will be able in some way to fulfill their need for a mother, but that as I provide for physical and emotional needs they will find themselves created and loved by God and able to know Him- because knowing Him is how I am made whole.
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